Thank You, God…Even Through the Pain
February 13, 2021. The Cheesecake Factory. My birthday.
Kane and I were finishing up my birthday lunch and was handed my birthday treat by our waitress. She also gave us a dessert menu because we wanted to get a slice of cheesecake to take home. As I was going through the menu, nothing sounded good. I felt nauseous. I did end up getting a slice to go but I told Kane that I think we needed to go back home now. The plan was to have lunch and then find something fun to do but all I wanted to do was to go home and sleep because I wasn’t feeling good at all.
We went from West Des Moines back to our place and the entire way there I slept…even though it was only like a 15–20-minute drive back. We laid down on the couch and watched TV and I fell back asleep. I was hoping that I would feel better because the plan was to celebrate my birthday evening at his parents’ house with the family and order pizza. I did end up feeling better after sleeping. Didn’t know what was going on but I didn’t think anything of it.
February 16, 2021. Kane called 911 and an ambulance arrived at our apartment. I was sweating, I didn’t want to keep my eyes open. I couldn’t walk without passing out. The paramedics kept asking me, “Could you be pregnant?” My response was “I don’t know…” I wasn’t keeping track in my head when I couldn’t even think straight. I was loaded into the ambulance and Kane followed us to the ER. I couldn’t even keep my eyes open and I was so uncomfortable. Kane said that I was losing color in my face and was looking gray.
I was loaded onto a bed and heard multiple people talking, machines going, felt poking in my arms and just seeing bright lights everywhere. After being stable, I heard the doctor say that I was pregnant but experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and my left tube was ruptured, which means it had to be taken out. I called my mom and told her and she rushed down to Des Moines and then I went into emergency surgery. I lost 4 liters of blood and I was lucky that I was alive.
If you all have been following my fertility journey, you know that I had another ectopic pregnancy a couple years later which had caused my other tube to rupture and be removed.
Last year on my birthday, we were in the works of getting the adoption set in stone with the birth mom and getting things arranged. A lot of things were up in the air but had a good feeling about this. I spent my birthday day spending some time to myself and thought that maybe this would be my last birthday, alone, as in not a parent yet. Which was 100% true.
I’m excited for this year, 2026, on my birthday, as a mom. I’m very grateful for another year around the sun that God has given me. I have been through a lot with my body from miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, wound care (twice with two different scenarios), a mini stroke last January (a lot of people didn’t know about that!) a PFO closure on my heart in August, 11 stiches on my knee…what a past couple of years it’s been!
The other day, I excused myself from the living room while Kane, Kadence and I were playing because I got a little emotional. I walked into our bedroom, sat on the bed, started crying and talked to God. I thanked Him for the ‘mess’ and the ‘chaos’ in the living room with toys all over and one side of the sink with dirty baby bottles from the night before and that morning. The other side of the sink with dirty dishes and a dishwasher full of clean dishes that needed to be emptied and put away. I still had Convention stuff on the other side of the living room that needed to be put away, my plants needed to be watered, there was clutter on the counter and Kadence’s high chair needed to be cleaned off.
I’ve prayed about this for years and it was finally here. I wasn’t going to complain about it because this is where I needed to be. Needed to be here with my family, not matter what the house looked like. It brought me joy seeing the mess in the living that was created by an almost 1 year old that I prayed to God for. The prayer was answered.
Thank you, God, for another year. Thank you for the trials and storms You had put me through that made me grow closer to You. That made my faith stronger, that gave me such a wonder village of people and prayer warriors, a wonderful church family who knew us and laid their hands on us for Kadence, for supportive and loving family and friends. Cheers to 34 years!
Thank you!
XO!
